Psyrin Alterious, The Lone Rouge

[psychoticpotato]

I am Hybrid

.:My Life Is In Your Hands:.

Name: Psyrin Alterious
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Origin: North
Height: 6,5
Weight: 64lbs
Races: Human, Demon

Appearance:

Psyrin is tall and very light, he has a pale skin tone and a strong body build, his hands are very sleender and he has long fingers. Psyrin has a long sleender face with beady pericing eyes, the iris's of his eyes are the colour of the moon whilst the white is acually a dark black, and a sinister mouth. His black hair is extremely jagged and part of his fringe hangs in between his eyes loosely covering his nose. Psyrin has scars on his back.

Psyrin wears gray baggy pants and a rough singlet of the same colour that is covered up by his black hooded, sleeveless wolf cloak.

.:Do I Look Like I'm Laughing To You?:.

Personality:

Psyrin prefers to keep to himself but is kind to children and the elderly.

He has a traumatic fear of water any deeper than his ankles, upon entering this 'deep' water he will almost faint because of his past when he almost drowned.

He Flips if called weak in any way, and goes on a rampage.

Psyrin act's like nothing phases him but in reality he cares a lot, he is very kind, although he wont take any help or hospitality from no one.

When Psyrin meets new people he stares at them with a blank face not knowing what to say.

.:Fell My Wrath:.

Weapon: Iron Claws

Skills: Basic Fighting Skills, Demon Instinct

Magic:

Blood Grip- When Psyrin is injured and bleeding he can summon the blood to take form of many arms that grab his opponent and hold him/her down for Psyrin to attack. Psyrin has to loose at least 1 liter of blood to use this attack.

Resurrection- If Psyrin dies when in water he immediately comes back to life.

Fighting Style: Mostly uses street fighting moves and his claws to fight, also uses his tail to trip his foe may also ambush (if enemy is in a group)

.:I Was Once Younger:.

History

Psyrin's mother, a human, and his father, a demon, met when they were young and fell in love. However feelings between these two races were highly prohibited in Pysrin's, father's culture and so when he was born Psyrin was exiled. The odd thing about this hybrid however was because he lived for one hour in the demon quarter he grew a tail like his father.

Psyrin was taken in by wolfs after he was exiled, the wolfs taught him how to hunt, fight and talk. when he turned 7 he had to prove he was a part of the pack by going hunting with them, whilst he was out hunting he ran into a lesser demon, Psyrin being the over confident loser he is, decided that the demon would be a perfect prey, but he ended up getting his ass whopped, but during the fight he found out that he was not normal, his pack always referred to him as "human thing". Psyrin decided to leave the pack to find answers so he left for the human village.

When Psyrin arrived at the village he was feared and called a demon, that's when it hit him, he assumed that he was a hybrid half human, half demon. Psyrin felt that he did not belong with ether the wolf's nor the humans, he felt as is he did not belong anywhere so he decided to become a traveler. Whilst traveling he obtained a bad habit of stealing things, and selling them. he also had a near death, he fell out of a tree and landed in a lake, and almost drowned because he forgot how to swim........

Psyrin still wanders this earth looking for a place to belong this very day........ (guah maybe i should be a story teller than a role player? lol)

Role play Sample: Psyrin swiftly morphed through the crowd unnoticed by the shop keeper as he hid the fish in his baggy shirt ' he sighed "this is too easy~", as he swung around the corner he noticed a young girl crying by her self, he noticed her ragged cheap clothing that seemed ripped in a few places, "are you ok? ma'am?" her head rose slightly " i'm really hungry... but those mean boys took my pocket -hic- money, a-and i was gonna buy some -hic- food.. for me an my little brother " he felt pity for her and handed over his fish, "take it little girl n' stop cry'n".

"grrrrrr i put alotta brain thought into this and i over worked my brain for the history part *was never good at history* i think i melted it.....uhn? my brain!?......"

[Aliah]

OK great profile now to get to the problems:

You didn't copy the code, underneith the profile there is a box called code copy and paste that in to get the propper looking code.

For the apearance it would be easier if you use these: [/img]

Persanality:

What is he like when he see's somthing he likes?
What is his general dimena?
Comon atleast 5 sentances.

Attacks: Sorry but they don't make much sense, why use () and **. You say the users blood, who is the user? His opponent or himself?

With Magic it generally means, can they use a fireball? Yes so what does the fireball do? big stream of fire for 50 meters.

The history is much too short, it doesn't tell us what he did with his life. What did he do with his mother what did he do when she died?

And finally the rp sample, i understand that is a way of roleplaying but here we will prefer to use the more of a sort of literate more like a book. third person and past tense and longer atleast 60 words.

[psychoticpotato]

*pissed off pouting face* okay~ i redid the whole thing happy?.... is it any good?

[Aliah]

That is alot better but in roleplays you generally dont have *sigh* you'd say 'he sighed'.

I know Persanality and Hisotry are hard but the history should be a bit bigger, try splitting it up so you have a few sentaces from his childs hodo, a few from when he was 10 etc etc.

[psychoticpotato]

but nothing else happened to him, plus its not that short, and i cant think of anything else for his past, uh stuff it, i cant do anything more dunno how to so just get over it? will ya....... you gotta understand that not every one has as good righting skills as you my skills are more in visual arts such as drawing n paintin, not righting though........ sorry but thats the best i can do so if ya cant excetp it than i cant rp with ya? ok?

[Aliah]

I'm not just comparing it to my writing skills alot the majoraty of profiles are larger than this, and I know that it is hard for you. If you come over in the holidays we can fix it together.

[Magnie]

If you don't mind me coming in Aliah...

For the history, how about you add what they did in the mountains? Add a history of how he learned the basic skills he has. How did he learn his magic? For the RP Sample, I think you have been watching to many movies. How about you go read a 300 page book or two? That's where I learned all my grammar. ( Literally, I got nothing out of school... :/ ) Maybe even read the entire Harry Potter series. ( If you haven't already ) But remember, you should probably read the books and not listen to them on tape.

[psychoticpotato]

hahahahhahaha skrew you world!!!!!! there done, now for god's sake please tell me thats good enough? hah~

P.S : i seriously cant stand harry potter or the books about him....... i go violently insane just from the word "book" by the way.......so yea~

[Aliah]

Ok good enough.